Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Random Top Five

Do you ever have random thoughts just enter your mind, for no apparent reason? Or if there is a reason, it's long and convoluted? That's what happened tonight and hence my top 5 list. I was randomly thinking about Tylenol (love that drug) because Lia was begging for some (nice huh?), which made me think of my maternity leave for some reason (I went back to work Feb 17, 2007) and then...bam, the first report I had to go out on my first day back at work. anyway, if you followed any of that, the bottom line is, I do believe I've heard it all. In the 7 years I worked in Child Protective Services, I have heard every excuse in the book why someone has tested positive for drugs. Everyone thinks they are being original but they are nonetheless completely unbelievable. So, I've developed my top five excuses/reasons why someone may test postive for cocoaine, you tell me if they are believable or not......

5. I was at the club last night and someone was smoking it. It must have gotten on my clothes.

4. It is in the medicine I'm taking for blood pressure. (says the great grandmother who tested positive, along with her daughter, granddaughter and 2 yr old great granddaughter)

3. Cocaine is in Tylenol, didn't you know that? It says it in the list of ingredients....

2. I had a toothache and rubbed a rock on it. it's supposed to take away the pain.

1. My boyfriend and I had sex after he snorted.............It can be transferred by bodily fluids..DUH!


Julie, Babs, Lisa...help me out if I'm missing any or you have some to add.....

5. Ty

4 comments:

Jody said...

nice work

larry said...

I knew you were up to something.

Amie Vaughan said...

hilarious. i love it. people really are that dumb.

you could do a top ten list of really classic names, as, well, if i remember rightly from a wilmore visit and sitting around at the frankensueandbrenandamie house.... ;)

Grits414 said...

TOOO funny! I bet you have TONS of stories that although sad, are funny too!