My Day.....

I heard once there is a thin veil between children and the unseen realm. Today I believe I was witness to it. My sweet Lia bug is the most amazing person I've ever met, and I don't just say that because I'm her mom. Lia was fortunate enough to be given a new Veggie Tales Silly Songs DVD today, believe me, we were all happy and ready for a change. She and her daddy were watching it before supper. The very last song on the DVD is titled "My Day" and is by Jr Asparagus. As they were watching this sweet song, I saw Lia become visibly upset. Her eyes welled up, her face turned red and I saw tears start rolling down her cheeks. I then looked at her daddy, and the same thing was going on with him. The funny thing, neither knew the other was reacting this way to this sweet song. This is the first time that I've ever seen my daughter exhibit such raw emotion, not because of being hurt, wanting a toy or being tired, but she truly FELT. She was moved by the song, the tone and possibly the words.

Copy and paste this link to hear this sweet song: http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#My%20Day%20veggie%20tales

(I wish I was smart enough to backlink, anyone who wants to school me in it, feel free)


One of the sweetest and most touching aspect of the song is the simplicity of it. Yes, God still loves us at the end of the day. No matter what we do wrong, right or not enough, we're loved just because. Sometimes it's too easy to get lost in the theology and the not measuring up, until you hear it from a child's lips, or in this case, and asparagus' lips. So, please take a moment to listen to this song if you've never heard it, and if you have heard it, listen again. You too may just need to be reminded that God loves you.

Random Top Five

Do you ever have random thoughts just enter your mind, for no apparent reason? Or if there is a reason, it's long and convoluted? That's what happened tonight and hence my top 5 list. I was randomly thinking about Tylenol (love that drug) because Lia was begging for some (nice huh?), which made me think of my maternity leave for some reason (I went back to work Feb 17, 2007) and then...bam, the first report I had to go out on my first day back at work. anyway, if you followed any of that, the bottom line is, I do believe I've heard it all. In the 7 years I worked in Child Protective Services, I have heard every excuse in the book why someone has tested positive for drugs. Everyone thinks they are being original but they are nonetheless completely unbelievable. So, I've developed my top five excuses/reasons why someone may test postive for cocoaine, you tell me if they are believable or not......

5. I was at the club last night and someone was smoking it. It must have gotten on my clothes.

4. It is in the medicine I'm taking for blood pressure. (says the great grandmother who tested positive, along with her daughter, granddaughter and 2 yr old great granddaughter)

3. Cocaine is in Tylenol, didn't you know that? It says it in the list of ingredients....

2. I had a toothache and rubbed a rock on it. it's supposed to take away the pain.

1. My boyfriend and I had sex after he snorted.............It can be transferred by bodily fluids..DUH!


Julie, Babs, Lisa...help me out if I'm missing any or you have some to add.....

5. Ty

Posting Comments

Just wondering if it's possible to post comments on here. I've had several people email me that they can't, so if you can, just do a test post comment? Thanks bunches.

Calling all SAHM's....

Ok, so I've been a "stay at home" mom for 4.5 months now. I have to say, it has been the biggest adjustment of my life. This move has been the biggest adjustment of my life, and for my family, and I can't say we've made it seamless either.
So, for all of you who have been doing this for a while, I'm calling on your expertise. What do you do all day? I mean, I know there's a lot to DO, but what do you do? Lia is alone, no siblings right now, and I know in theory I'm not her playmate, but at times I really feel sorry for her. We have no other kids to play with, her only other playmate is a boy who is a year older then her, and that story is best saved for another day, so it's just me and her. We go to the mall A LOT, but it's not like it's fun mall. Well, it's fun for her and it's fine for me, it's just not shopping mall. She plays well with other kids, so it's good for her to socialize.
Then there are the moments I get frustrated with her because she wants me to sit with her or watch Baby Einstein one more time, and I feel the need to do the dishes. Sigh. I might add, I hate housework. I love a clean house, I just hate doing it, so I'm find it very unfulfilling for my days to be about housework, dishes etc.
So, what do your days look like? How do you find value and meaning? (I'm asking this humbly, I find raising my child very valuable and meaningful, I just don't know how to figure out how that's ALL of what I do.)
Any and all input is more then welcome.

December 5

December 5 is a surreal day for me....it always will be. After being told by 2 different doctors that I had a less then 25% chance of ever having children because endometriosis, on December 5, 2005 I got a positive pregnancy test. It was a miracle. I never, ever in my wildest dreams expected it. I wish I could say that I had come to terms with the fact that I would probably never have children, but I can't. I mourned the fact I would probably never have the joy of holding a baby, our baby, in my arms. I never was able to surrender my desires to the Lord's will, I never was able to say "I am OK with it, no matter what".

I spent the entire Christmas of 2005 in utter disbelief and joy. When we arrived back home in Albany, I was scheduled for my second ultrasound at 9 wks. We were crushed beyond belief to learn that our baby had died. I felt like my heart had been shattered in a million pieces. I remember spending the next week in my PJ's, listening to the Scott Stappe CD and playing Bejeweled on the computer. But, as cliche as it was, and probably inappropriate for every other woman in the world other then me, it was a miracle that I was able to even get pregnant, and I knew that if it happened once it could happen again.

Fast foward to December 5, 2006, exactly one year after my first positive pregnancy test, my beautiful miracle was born. I had hoped that she would be born on this day, it brings my story of hope, faith and trust full circle. I have to thank God, He is the only reason for this miracle. I wish I could say that I knew He would bring me peace, but I can't. What I can say is that despite my lack of faith, my failure to trust, He still loved me enough to give me the joy of my heart. I am daily overwhelmed with this gift of love. I pray my daughter grows to know and love Jesus with all her heart, and despite the difficulties of life, He is always there, always steadfast and always loving.

I love you baby Celia Grace. Nobody will ever love you like your mama does.

Why?

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you, He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice, blessed are all who wait on Him. Isaiah 30:17-19

Why can I never remember this? Why never live it? Not to go all "Old Testament", ( not that there's anything wrong with that), but this is something I wish I could beat into myself as I think that's the only way to learn it. I struggle with trust. Trust in God, trust in people. I'm not proud of the fact that I'm 35 yrs old and this is still such a HUGE issue in my life. Maybe it always will be. But, at the very least, I wish I could believe that God LONGS to be gracious to me. Not because He was to be or not even just bc he wants to be, but he LONGS for it. Yet, I still struggle with trusting Him, trusting that He desires so much to be gracious. Why?

Breadcrumbs

I had one of those days last week. You know, the kind where you just wanna give up and you're convinced the world has conspired against you. Yup, one of those days, or actually two. I remember many years ago when I lived in Russia I felt I was having one of those lives. I had gone for many, many, many weeks without hot water, or at least without having it consistently. This gets really old after a while, when all I wanted to do was jump in a hot shower. I remember one particularly bad day during the week of the infamous day camps. ( I hated day camps, but that's a whole other story) I was riding the trolly back to my apartment and it was crowded as usual, the 5:00 rush. I had a very heavy bag that day and this very kind, older Russian gentleman offered to hold my bag on his lap for me. I bursted out in tears at this. It was the breadcrumb I needed, just to know that the world wasn't against me. When I was in college, my third year, we were having a particulary harsh winter with very little sunshine. One February day, the sun came out and the temperature rose to just above freezing, it was delightful. My friend Marsha and I named this day "The Day God Gave Us". I think of that day often. Fast foward to this past Friday. I was so tired, Lia was so tired, a tired 2 year old is akin to pergutory itself and I was fully there. I was out of gas, so after filling up I went inside for a much needed coffee. For whatever reason, the very kind employee did not charge me for the coffee. Happy Halloween he said. A very small gesture, but a very needed glimpse of hope and light for me. Someone just being so kind, so generous, he probably didn't even think twice about it, but it truly made my day, more then most things do. Some people may think God is too busy with all the craziness of this world to care much about our personal needs, our exhaustion with our children or just our frustration with the weather. I think God always is looking for ways to renew our hope, to remind us He loves us and He is always there for us...me. I can only pray that as much as I'm on the receiving end of this hope, these breadcrumbs, these glimmers of a remnant, that He'll also be able to use me to encourage others and be that glimmer for someone who needs it.